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Leviticus: Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The Miracle of Life

Miracle Of Life Pictures

The period of ritual uncleanliness begins!

Anyone who is pregnant or considering giving birth should consult these Childbirth Reminders!!

Childbirth is is a scary and confusing event, one filled with questions that have no easy answers. How many new mothers have given birth to a healthy young boy and asked “How long now must I wait before I can once again touch something that is holy?” and “What animal or animals must be brought to the priest as an offering for my sin of uncleanliness?” And what blushing first-time dad lets more than a minute go by before he asks “What should I do with all this foreskin hanging off my son’s dongnel*?”

As you prepare for your big day or big decision, these Reminders will remind you of your duties and period of uncleanliness that follow childbirth!!

Reminder #1: Giving birth results in a period of ritual uncleanliness for the mother!

According to Leviticus, women are to be are ostracized each time they pop out a cub. For bearing a male child, a woman “shall be unclean seven days,” during which time she is to be separated from the tribe, “[a]nd she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days,” and is not allowed to touch or go near anything holy.

Reminder #2: The period of ritual uncleanliness is doubled when you give birth to a girl!

For a female child, a woman is unclean for two weeks “and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six [66] days.” Sorry, ladies.

Reminder #3: Giving birth is a sin, and must be atoned for!

After the mother has gone through her purification, she is to bring an animal to the priest as a sin sacrifice! For reference, I’ve included the same conversion chart that we used for the other sin offerings:

If you can afford a sheep, bring a sheep. If you cannot, bring two turtledoves...

Reminder #4: A male child shall have the foreskin of his dongnel* removed on the eighth day.

A timely circumcision is the only thing separating a correctly-phallused baby from an ungodly one. Don’t wait until the third week of your newborn’s life to slice off a nice chunk of his foreskin!

*While the term “dongnel” is not used in the King James, I have confirmed with a noted hebrew scholar that it is indeed the correct translation.

28 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. dan on Monday, February 2, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    .

    ñïàñèáî….

  2. jackie on Tuesday, February 3, 2015 at 2:47 am

    .

    ñïñ çà èíôó!…

  3. Peter on Tuesday, February 3, 2015 at 5:33 pm

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    áëàãîäàðñòâóþ!!…

  4. Jared on Tuesday, February 3, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    .

    áëàãîäàðåí….

  5. ian on Wednesday, February 4, 2015 at 3:13 am

    .

    áëàãîäàðåí!…

  6. luis on Wednesday, February 4, 2015 at 4:49 am

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    good info!…

  7. calvin on Wednesday, February 4, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    .

    áëàãîäàðþ….

  8. jimmie on Wednesday, February 4, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    .

    ñïñ çà èíôó!…

  9. Earl on Friday, February 6, 2015 at 2:35 am

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    tnx for info!!…

  10. ernest on Friday, February 6, 2015 at 6:12 am

    .

    ñïàñèáî!!…

  11. dwight on Friday, February 6, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    .

    ñïñ….

  12. kent on Friday, February 6, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    .

    ñïàñèáî çà èíôó….

  13. leslie on Saturday, February 7, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    .

    ñïàñèáî çà èíôó….

  14. Juan on Saturday, February 7, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    .

    ñýíêñ çà èíôó!…

  15. clayton on Saturday, February 7, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    .

    ñïñ….

  16. Kenny on Sunday, February 8, 2015 at 11:27 am

    .

    tnx for info!…

  17. Marshall on Sunday, February 8, 2015 at 2:11 pm

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    good….

  18. joshua on Monday, February 9, 2015 at 11:04 am

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    áëàãîäàðþ!…

  19. guy on Monday, February 9, 2015 at 10:28 pm

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    thank you….

  20. isaac on Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 4:00 am

    .

    good!!…

  21. don on Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    .

    ñïñ….

  22. Lee on Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    .

    thanks!!…

  23. Mark on Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 10:13 pm

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    ñïàñèáî çà èíôó….

  24. Richard on Wednesday, February 11, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    .

    thanks….

  25. Daryl on Thursday, February 12, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    .

    ñïñ çà èíôó….

  26. Timothy on Thursday, February 12, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    .

    ñïñ!!…

  27. Clifford on Friday, February 13, 2015 at 6:38 am

    .

    ñýíêñ çà èíôó!!…

  28. lynn on Friday, February 13, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    .

    áëàãîäàðþ….

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